Waking, Awakening

Waking, Awakening

I open my eyes and stretch feeling the warm comfort of my bed and body. Then I slide deeper as I say: "I am thankful to be before you my life council, that my Neshamah my Soul Connection to you G, has returned with compassion renewed, in your abundance and faith." I look around at the limited and limitless world of my bedroom. The greater feelings that I pray will govern my day flow out of my mouth. "The first ness that is wisdom begins with the Awe of G. Good smarts to all doers. G's praise stands on. May I be immersed in the name of weighty honor through G's eternal good council." I rise and let my night soil evacuate my body and am thankful that my body process, the orifices and organs work in daily mundane miracles. Then I wash my body reminding myself, with the blessing words, of the sacred connection that elevates these mundane morning moments.

I pull out the garments of the day, and cover my body as my body covers and carries my souls. My garments remind me that my body too is a garment, dressing and teaching my soul, the ways of life and limits. My reminder garment, my tzitzit is checked and donned with blessing and reminder of my sacred connection to the Wholly One of Being. I notice that the action of donning tzitzit puts me in touch with all sacred connections, which we call Mitzvot.

I grab my Tallit, the wings of Shechinah and before I wrap myself in it/them I repeat my need/desire. "I do this act to bring Heaven to earth and earth to Heaven unifying in my heart and life the Kadosh Barchu, the Wholly One of Blessing and the Shechinah, my recognition of G in my daily life." I know deep behind my mind's soul, my Neshamah B'Ohr, that if we could all work together for that unification, Mashiah would be here. Then I hold those wings of my Tallit looking at the fringes, those strings around my finger reminding me of the 613 sacred connections that are the joining of body and soul, called the 248 organs and the 365 sinews of which the great teachers taught. I see the enlightened light of which Tzitzit are spiritual memory pegs. Just as I wrap myself physically here and now, may I also wrap myself in the 7 Mitzvot, sacred connections taught by the great teachers as I reach for the world to come, the beauty and peace of the Spiritual Womb, the Garden of Eden. I find liberation for my 3 fold soul, the body soul, the wind soul and the breath soul from the forces external to my soul camp. My hungry 3 fold soul is carried high under the spreading wings of my Tallit to my soul rest, as an eagle, alighting lightly in his nest full of hungry eaglets. May the importance to You Oh Wholly One of Being, of this sacred connection, fill me with the power of all of your sacred connections in all their personal and delicate intentions.

I wrap myself with blessing in my Tallit feeling those sacred wings and I call out in joy: "How precious is compassion, that we earthlings seek refuge in the shadow of the wings of Your compassion. May we find the satisfaction of coming home. May our thirsts be quenched from the waters of delight. Oh Source of life, from your light, we see the light."

And then I turn to my Tfilin, the praying device made of, leather straps and leather boxes containing the spirit words of oneness and commitment. Again I put out the sacred desire that this Sacred Connection, this Mitzvah will unify the upper and lower worlds.

I recognize that by wrapping Tfilin I continue the connecting in sanctity with my Source of Being from which all Sacred Connections stem as it is written in my Sacred Guide (Torah): "Make the connection on your arm as a sacred symbol, and may they be the jewels between your eyes." Four times it is mentioned the Sacred Guide (Torah) reminding us to focus, and listen deeply, to find holiness and wonder in order to leave the narrow minded places. From these four passages a unity bubbles to the surface, an awareness of our oneness with the Wholly One of Being in this world. The Tfilin is a reminder of wonder and miracles, of leaving the place of narrowness. This is the power of G's sacred parables taken from on high Heaven, and from below, here on earth, to teach us the desire for righteousness.

G's Sacred Connection to rest Tfilin on the arm is a reminder of the outstretched arm. It is near the heart that we may sight our hearts on sacred service. I put the Tfilin on my head in front of my mind, connecting my Soul Mind that will focus all my senses in the potential of sacred service, and so immerse myself in the Sacred Name which is Eternality.

May the Shefa, the sacred emanation from G flow through me and may these Tfilin, praying devices sensitize me to the awareness of that sacred flow. May it lengthen my life, and may that which flows from me contain holiness, holy thoughts, without the interference of mis-steps and mis-takes or hurtful errors. May this wrapping remind me not to be seduced into using my creative will for evil. May I find comfort in this heartful, sacred service.

I pray that the action of wrapping Tfilin put me in the powerful place of connecting every jot and tittle of all of Your sacred connections, which we call Mitzvot.

I recite my blessings as I wrap and adjust the heart sight Tfilin and my headlamp Tfilin. Then, before I begin my davenin, I offer this meditation. "From your Sefirah of Wisdom (Hochamah) on high, let me feel your emanations. From your Sefirah of Understanding (Binah) help me understand. From your Sefirah of unconditional love and kindness (Hesed) increase my capacity for love. From your Sefirah of Power (Gevurah) cut down my enemies and rebels (whether they are on the outside or within me). Pour Your good oil emanations onto the arms of Your Menorah, the lower 7 Sefirot. Cause Your goodness to flow for all of Your creation. Open your arms and let satisfaction flow to every living thing.

Now with Tallit and Tfilin, my wings, guiding light and sights set, I am ready to begin my davenin day.

The Midrash of the Mateh

This is the ongoing saga of the Mateh,the staff taken from the Tree of Life in the Garden of Eden and passed down, generation to generation.

The shock of war was something the Mateh could never shake. Again the people had to fight; the horror and the brutality filled the Mateh with dismay. Was there ever a time when such terror would end?

This people who was to become "Ohr LaGoyim," 'a light unto the nations,' was shedding only darkness now. For every action, the Mateh knew, there was a 'Karma debt'. What would be the consequences of these actions? Would this people become numb to the brutalization of war and slaughter? Would others learn from the evil that is butchery?

The Mateh, which, as we have seen, was not locked in by time and space, flowed through the centuries.

It saw examples throughout the generations of how the world would, in some ways refuse to outgrow the insanity of war. Thirty centuries after the horror of this Jewish Jihad, others would be continuing the malevolent legacy of these ancient ways.

The difficulty of being in the position of "Light to the Nations" was that lessons learned from the ways of their ancestors are both good and evil.

When the Israelites continued the practices of the peoples around them, they became part of the infection that is violence within the world. Yes, the Mateh noted, this evil, this particular evil would pass from the path of the two-leggeds who were to be called Jews. But it did not pass from the world. There would be those who read the words but did not learn the lessons of Torah. There would be Jihad through the centuries. As the Mateh looked around at the bloodshed and death, it knew that victims become perpetrators and perpetrators become victims in the cycle of violence.

And it took a moment in prayer for a time when everyone could sit under a vine and fig tree with none to make them afraid.

Torah Portion - The Week of July 20-26 / Tammuz 17-23

First Thoughts
This week's potion begins with the word "Matot," the plural of "Mateh." But it does not speak of a walking stick, it speaks of the tribes. Again we see the wonder of words, specifically the spirit words of Hebrew.

The word Mateh is rife with realizations. Within the root, we root out the words for 'bed,' 'downwards,' 'headquarters' and 'tribe,' as well as, 'walking staff.'
What do all these blossoms of the root have in common? They all have to do with being grounded.

When we need to be comforted, when we need to find our balance, when we need to be grounded in a world that seems to be spinning out of control, the Mateh comes to balance us.
In this case, it is the tribe that we seek for balance. We all need connections. We connect with family and community and country.

But the origin of these connections is the tribe. Our tribe gives us borders and boundaries. Our tribe offers us comfort and encouragement. And within our tribe, we seek council and consolation.

In other words, we can lean on our tribe like a staff upon the trail.


Dvar Torah(a word of Torah)
There are Torah potions that lend themselves easily to modern Midrash. They leap from ancient times into the modern mold with ease. And yet, there are other potions, like this one, filled with blood and fire and force.

There are potions that point to the disparity of inequality between male and female in a male dominated society. These potions point to our similarity to the other peoples of that ancient time. They highlight the other potions, potions in which we find firmly fixed formulas for elevation. They point to potions filled with spiritual enlightenment far beyond the history in which they are ensconced. And we might just leave it at that, ignoring the hard questions brought up by this potion.

But I believe we cannot and should not gloss over the bitter potions, nor try to sugar coat them so that they go down with ease. There is a song that contains the verse, "a little bit of honey makes the medicine go down." That does not apply to honest understanding. In this potion, we have two examples. (The second speaks to the horrors of Jihad and we will leave it for another day.)

The first is in regard to vows. A man's vow is sacrosanct. What he says, he should do' period. That in itself is frightening.

I remember as a child walking the hallway to my father's (z'tl) office. Along the wall was a virtual gallery of visual renderings of biblical stories. There was one painting in particular that has remained vivid in my mind. In the background of the painting is a young girl running to meet her father. There is joy and relief in her face. If that were all there was to the depiction, it would have been a sweet, and poignant painting. And yet, in the foreground is a close up of the father's weathered, pained and tearful face. His name was Yeftah.

In Judges 11:30-31 he makes a vow. "And Yeftah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said: 'If Thou wilt indeed deliver the children of Ammon into my hand, 11:31 then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, it shall be the LORD'S, and I will offer it up for a burnt-offering."
And that is the root of his ruin. As the picture displayed so powerfully, the first thing to come from his doors of his house was his beloved daughter. That painting is the only one from the gallery that I can still see with painful clarity. The horror imbedded in the paint on canvas cries out to the harshness of this very potion. A man may never retract a vow. If our people had not grown, if our faith was not flowing, we would be left with the same harshness as those who preach and teach terror to the world.

But Torah is a flowing work, filled with interpretations that elevate our lives. The Rabbis of Talmud interpret the rules of the Neder and the Shvuah (the two types of vows mentioned in our potion). They simply state that neither Neder nor Shvuah may break with Halacha (the path of the Jew). We may not make a vow that pulls us from the path of holiness and wholeness, the way of our people. We may not vow to slaughter a human being as a sacrifice to G (or for any reason for that matter). Talmud moves to mitigate what could become tragedy.
Talmud softens severity.

But what of the inequality to women? What of a woman's vow? According to our text, a woman is dependent upon the approval of her father or brother or husband. In other words, if a man is in the picture, the vow can be nullified or softened. Yes, this is unfair, unjust, inequitable and iniquitous. A woman's vow should have the same weight as a man's.

And yet, maybe it should have been the other way around. If a man makes a vow, his mother or wife or sister has the right to say: "Are you out of your mind!?!?!!?!?!?"

Maybe instead of pulling the woman to the man's side of the Mehitzah (separation of the sexes), men should be pulled to the woman's side. Maybe there should be some checks and balances between the male and female. When making a vow we should look within. We should explore the "In-Yo," the "Yin and Yang" of the self. When emotions run strong, we should take a moment to sit in council with the feminine and the masculine within our soul.

Torah teaches. Even in what appears on the surface to be a reflection of ancient ignorance, there are lessons to be learned, spirit growth to be gleaned.

The First Century Rabbi Ben Bag Bag taught us, "Turn the Torah, turn it again and again, for everything you want to know is found within it." (Pirkei Avot 2:25)


B'Ohr,
Reb Bahir Rocky Mountain Hai